May 23, 2009
Dear Ty,
You have been on my mind for some time now. You have also been in my prayers. I thought of you often on your birthday and wondered how you were doing at age 68. That seems so old but it better than the alternative particularly when we have had 11 funerals in our stake the last three months-I think I spoke at three of them. I just finished stake conference and now can now concentrate on other things including writing to you.
Thanks so much for your letter. I have no way to relate to your experience on being confined. I’m sure it is a huge adjustment. I”ve always been impressed with your positive attitude through this whole proceeding. I’m grateful that your work gives you some time to be alone. Will you stay at the same facility the entire sentence? Do you read a lot or watch TV? Are you learning any Spanish? I remember when my father’s sheep herders wanted to teach me Spanish as a teenager and I thought I could never use it so I declined. That was one of my three dumb decisions I made as a teenager. The other two were talking my mother into quitting piano lessons and the other was not taking shorthand in high school.
First, a report on my health. I am doing well. I”m told my voice is stronger. I leave tomorrow for Denver to run (shuffle) my ninth Bolder Boulder 10K Race. I have been preparing for about three months and I am prepared enough to finish the course although my time will not be that good but if I just finish I am satisfied. The doctor said I can not run so I walk and shuffle. Three of my daughters will be with me-they watch out for me. Two good friends, neighbors and fellow ward members will be with me too but I may be better prepared that they are this year. I am wearing a bike shirt designed by one of the young men in my ward when I was bishop-he sells these shirts to raise money for the Lance Armstrong Cancer Fund (over $250,000 raised so far). His wife suffers from breast cancer and is very seriously ill so I am running in this pink and black biking shirt to honor her brave fight against cancer. I may gets some strange looks shuffling in this bright pink shirt but I don’t care that other people think-I know what I feel and that is more important to me. Last summer at youth conference in Wyoming, I walked 14 miles across Rocky Ridge on our handcart trek in honor of people in my stake and other friends who were suffering from cancer. It was a very emotional experience to complete the trek and pray with my walking companions on the hill overlooking Rock Creek and the burial sight for 13 buried in a common grave that the people I walked for would be blessed.
The doctor has increased my Sinemet from two to three pills per day. I held off taking the extra pill for three month because he warned me that when my medication is increased, the possible adverse side effects may become evident. I wasn’t worried that the stronger medication would turn me into a compulsive gambler or a sex addict, but I was worried about drowsiness or dizziness as possible side effects. I have been on the new medication for about a month with no adverse side effects and I have more energy and more control with the increased medication. I also take Requip each day-both of my medications are low dosages. I’m so grateful that these medications work for me.
Ty, you have been such a good friend to me I feel I can share my fears with you. Fears are strange feelings-they may not be justified but they are real to the person who experiences them. I was surprised that I was called to be stake president at age 62- I did not seek the position but I accepted the call willingly and pledged with everything I had to complete my assignment acceptable to the Lord. A couple of years after I was called, the Spirit told my physical therapist and good friend that I had Parkinson Disease. He waited until I was in his office for treatment of a sore muscle or back that I needed to be examined by a doctor because his Dad had Parkinson and he thought I had the disease. The neurologist confirmed that diagnosis a couple of months later. I told my wife, partners and stake presidency but no one else. I was afraid clients would drop me and that the youth at church wouldn’t respect me as a stake president with physical disabilities. I waited a year to tell my kids-some of them saw changes in me and believed the pressure of my stake president’s call had put me under too much stress when in fact my calling is what really kept me going. I had my presidency give me a blessing and after that I realized that it didn’t matter how long I served but how well I served during the time I was stake president. I didn’t think at the time I would make the normal nine year term.
I told my clients-none left. I told the stake in stake conference I had Parkinson by recounting climbing a 14,000 foot mountain a couple of months earlier. At about 13000 feet I recalled that I was tired and it was hard to climb at that altitude because of the lack of oxygen. I decided to quit and use what energy I had left in my legs to get back down the mountain when a clear impression came into my mind-“Kelly, if you quit now you are admitting that Parkinson’s can beat you.” I answered my own statement-“Parkinson’s may someday beat me but not today.” With new courage I made it to the top of the peak. I told the conference that we have to be bold and declare to ourselves that temptation can’t beat us when we are being tempted-don’t worry abut the future but only concentrate on the decision that must be made now. The stake has truly rallied around me and prayed for me. The youth have looked up to me as an example as I walked 14 miles across Rocky Ridge with my disability.
However, the fear has still persisted that I might be released as stake president if church authorities knew of my condition. The mission presidents have all known but I don’t know if Elder Funk, my Area Seventy from Denver, knows I have Parkinson. I never told him and he never asked. A couple of weeks ago a change was made and now Elder Brimhall is my new Area Authority. I don’t know what he knows. I have been worried when Bishop David Burton was to visit our stake conference in May that my movements may disclose my condition or prompt an inquiry. It’s not that I want to be stake president for the honor or title-I do enjoy being stake president most of the time (there are certain situations I would gladly give the call to someone else but that isn’t how it works-I can’t delegate certain things and must do them no matter how uncomfortable or scared I am) but I have a strong commitment to complete my calling and complete a normal nine year term. I don’t want to be a quitter. I want to serve what I was called to do. Once I passed my midterm mark last November I knew I could serve a full term. If I can get to the top of a 14,000 foot peak, I can get to the bottom. I can state that my Parkinson’s has never caused me in any way to miss any appointment or not fulfill my calling.
As I prepared for the visit from Bishop Burton, my voice was good and my movements strong. I didn’t intend to tell him about Parkinson’s. As it turned out, with his artificial knee and extra weight, he had a tougher time moving around than I did. After a couple of visits, he had a private interview with me before we met as a stake presidency. He ask me point blank about my health and the health of my counselors. I was straight forward with him and told me about my prostate cancer and my Parkinson’s Disease and that President Eyring had blessed me with the “health, strength and endurance” to complete my calling. This is the blessing someone needs that has my condition. He never even made a note but went on with the interview. We were in constant meetings from 1:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. on Saturday and we both got up at 5:30 a.m. the next morning and were in constant meetings from 7:00 a.m. to noon. I was with him all the way and talked three times per his assignment.
My wife’s health has been good. She was lost 70 pounds the last year and is feeling much better. She has more energy and is the reason I am able to serve as Stake President. She does all the driving in the large cities like Denver and Salt Lake. She has a strong will.
I feel good about my stake. We have grown 1000 members in the last five years and created one new ward. I have great bishops and each ward feels like a family. There is good love among the saints and a good spirit in every ward. I just wish I could convince the home teachers to do a better job. We have a great relationship with the Monticello Temple and our Denver South Mission. The missionaries like to be transferred to the Western Slope.
I’m sure you get the San Juan Record and read the article about Clarence and Seraphine Frost. They were such good people-you have a great heritage. I will never forget their kindness to me. I was at a church dance when the news came that Bob Barton and Mrs Bennion Redd had been killed in the automobile crash near Greenriver. I was really scared as I started to walk home on that dark cold windy night when they came by and gave me a ride home. Even though their hearts were broken at the lost of a grandson, they still had time to help a scared 12 year old boy.
I’m still trying to put a trip together to come see you. My daughter Connie is in her last year at the University of Texas at Austin getting a PhD in Speech Pathology-her field is determining whether a child has a speech problem or if it is a bilingual problem. I understand you can only have visitors on Friday and Saturday and that you can only have so many visitors on your visitor list. I realize that family comes first on the list.
Do you have any other church members in your institution?
We will miss you at the class reunion. I am grateful that you are my friend. Thanks for listening to me. As my book “Parkinson’s Disease for Dummies” say, “Never Give Up.”
God is good. He is in control.May 23, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
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